


I Gaze At You Softly And I Ache With Longing

by HellsLittleLiar



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 06:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsLittleLiar/pseuds/HellsLittleLiar
Summary: Moomin gets jealous when Snufkin is asked to dance by somebody else. He needs to work up the courage to ask him, himself, but will he be able to?





	I Gaze At You Softly And I Ache With Longing

Moomin gazed longingly across the room, to where Snufkin was leaning casually against the wall and chatting to a member of the band. The band was crowded around Snufkin, fawning over him and his harmonica.

Snufkin's face was lightly flushed, with a small, pleased smile. Moomin couldn't hear the conversation, but he was certain that they were complimenting Snufkin's harmonica playing. Which they should be! Snufkin was an incredibly talented musician and Moomin was pleased that professionals recognised it. He hoped Snufkin wasn't feeling too overwhelmed with so many people talking to him at once.

Moomin's smile and his heart dropped as one of the musicians held an inviting hand out to Snufkin, who smiled shyly and took it with his paw. The musician pulled Snufkin close- too close! -and settled one hand intimately on Snufkin's waist, the other holding Snufkin's paw far too tightly. Then he began to lead them in a waltz, as Moomin felt his ears and eyes inexplicably burning.

He watched as the two of them danced gracefully around the room. Snufkin was so beautiful, gazing softly up at his dance partner. Moomin's breath caught in his throat. Oh, how he wished Snufkin would look at him just like that. The musician dancing with Snufkin had stars in his eyes as he looked down at him. Then he started to lean in, looking intently at Snufkin's mouth. Moomin gripped his glass tighter and did his best to stop himself from storming over to interrupt. Snufkin could kiss whoever he wanted, he didn't belong to anyone. Especially not to Moomin, despite Moomin's heart rapidly raging against his ribcage at the thought of anyone except him kissing Snufkin.

Another musician tapped the first on the shoulder and took over dancing with Snufkin. Snufkin blinked up at him innocently, unaware at what had just almost happened. Moomin was relieved at the switch from the first one but soon decided this new one wasn't much better. He put both hands far too low down on Snufkin's hips, as he swayed them side to side. Not that Moomin would have been happy with anyone else's hands being anywhere on his Snufkin!

Except, Moomin stared sadly down at his drink, Snufkin was not actually his. Snufkin didn't belong to anyone and neither did Moomin or anyone else! That was why Moomin was completely relieved and not at all disappointed when Snork Maiden asked him to dance. Of course he agreed, as a gentlemoomin should and lead her onto the dance floor.

"Why don't you just ask him to dance?"

"Huh? I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Snork Maiden."

"Don't be dim, Moomin. You've been watching him all night. He's your best friend, Moomin. He would say yes if you asked him."

Moomin blushed and looked down at his feet. "That's the problem. I-I don't want to just be his best friend."

"Yes, yes, you want to dance with him and give him flowers and be with him all the time and go on adventures just the two of you and make each other dinner and write romantic songs and poetry for each other." Snork Maiden rolled her eyes. "And that's all things you do anyway. I can't imagine how sickeningly sweet you two are going to be once you finally start courting."

Moomin dipped her so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye for at least a few seconds. He hadn't realised, until Snork Maiden pointed it out just then, exactly how clingy he had been with Snufkin. Exactly how sickeningly sugar-sweet. So clingy and sweet that Snork Maiden, and possibly others, thought they were close to courting. Everything she listed did sound like things couples did and Moomin loved doing all of them with Snufkin, but did Snufkin like it? Or was he simply putting up with Moomin's pathetic attentions to spare his feelings? Moomin thought about how those courtship-like activities would look to a fellow such as Snufkin, who valued his freedom and his independence above all else.

Snufkin was probably frustrated with how much Moomin had been hanging around, while Snufkin was trying to be alone. Why hadn't Snufkin said anything? Surely he knew Moomin would leave him alone if he asked. Moomin would do anything for him. Or would he? Hadn't Snufkin told him often enough that he preferred being alone to company? That he loved solitude and silence and being far away from civilization? And how often had Moomin heard that and ignored it? How often had he sought out Snufkin's company despite this? How often had he begged Snufkin to stay for the winter, even knowing he would be leaving his friend awake as he hibernated?

And now he even wanted to court Snufkin! Surely, that would be too far- the cut off point, where Snufkin told him enough was enough and he shouldn't bother him anymore and he no longer wanted to be friends if all Moomin thought about while they spent time together was kissing him.

"He's going to hate me." Moomin whispered.

"He's not going to hate you, Moomin." Snork Maiden snapped. "If he didn't hate you for any of the arguments you've had, he won't hate you for this."

"Arguments?" Moomin blinked in surprise, suddenly startled out of his depressed reverie.

"Yes, I'm sure you've disagreed about something. Even if you disagree about this, which you won't, Snufkin will still be your best friend."

"Oh, but we've never had an argument before."

"Never?"

"No."

"What about the argument you have every year on whether he should leave for the winter?"

"That's not really an argument. We both know he's going to leave. That's more...pathetic begging, I think I'd describe it as."

"You're certainly one of a kind, Moomin."

"That didn't sound like a compliment, Snork Maiden."

"It wasn't one. Now, do you want to ask your best friend to dance or do you want to watch the man you love be kissed and courted by someone else?"

"What!?" Moomin snapped his head back to look at Snufkin again.

A third man had replaced the other two, as the group of musicians crowded again. The man brought Snufkin's paw up to his mouth and kissed it softly, gentleman-like. Moomin pictured himself in the man's place and ached. Moomin would treat Snufkin like a prince if Snufkin would let him. Only, he didn't think he would let him. Snufkin, as his paw was kissed, simply looked confused. 

Another musician pushed the one who'd kissed Snufkin's paw out the way, and kissed the paw himself, which is how the tussling amongst the group of musicians began. Snufkin jumped as the first punch was thrown, and ducked away from the chaos. Moomin watched as he backed up against a door, pressing himself against it, then quickly pushing through and leaving the dance hall. 

Moomin looked back at Snork Maiden, who jerked her head to where Snufkin disappeared. "Go on, then, I know you want to."

"But what if he wants to be alone?"

"If he wanted to be alone, he would have left before the fighting started. Now get after him! I'm going to ask Little My for a dance."

"Ah, good luck."

"And the same to you, Moomin."

Moomin took a deep breath and followed Snufkin into the night.

He found Snufkin by his tent, looking into his campfire. 

"I'm sorry, Moomin. I don't know what happened, but I think I must have upset them somehow. I don't know what I said but I didn't mean to ruin the party."

"Snufkin... You didn't ruin anything! And it wasn't your fault! They shouldn't have been fighting over you!"

Snufkin tore his eyes away from the campfire with confused expression. "Fighting...over me?"

"Yes. Hadn't you noticed? They've been flirting with you all night, arguing about which of them gets to dance with you next. I've barely seen you all night, as they've taken up so much of your time tonight."

Snufkin's ears tinged pink and he reached up to tug the brim of his hat down over his eyes. Moomin wondered at how innocent and completely oblivious his friend was, not realising how flirtatious the entire band was towards him. If Snufkin didn't realise when people were outright flirting with him, then there's no way he could have noticed Moomin's feelings toward him. This was a minor comfort, which Moomin clung to.

"Snufkin... Do you- do you want to be alone?"

Snufkin shook his head and patted Moomin's paw reassuringly with his own. "Please stay... Unless you want to go back to the party. I-I don't mean to take you away."

"No! No, no, I'd rather stay with you. I've wanted to ask you to dance all night."

"You have?" Snufkin peered up from under his hat.

"Yes, I- um- I really want to dance with you, Snufkin. But I- th-there was a lot of people tonight that wanted to dance with you."

"Oh, Moomin. You could have cut in. You know I wouldn't mind."

"I didn't want to interrupt. You looked like you were having fun and you can dance with whoever you want."

"Surely you must know by now, Moomin." Snufkin laughed sadly. 

"Know what, Snufkin?"

"Moomin. I would rather dance with you than anyone else in the world."

"Oh!" Moomin flushed, pleased. "Then- then-" He stood up and held his paw out to Snufkin. "W-would you do me the honour?"

Snufkin stared at his paw for a minute in surprise, then slowly, shyly, grasped it with his own and allowed himself to be pulled up. Moomin remembered his uncharitable thoughts about Snufkin's earlier dance partners and their hand placements, so he kept a respectful couple of inches distance between them, putting one paw in Snufkin's and one on Snufkin's back.

"I didn't know you wanted to dance, Moomin, or I would have excused myself to meet you sooner."

"You couldn't have known I wanted to. I should have asked you."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't."

"Why not?" Snufkin tilted his head and Moomin wished he had the guts to kiss him as he so desperately wanted to.

"I was scared, I suppose." Moomin admitted, trying not to look at Snufkin's chocolate brown eyes or his soft, pink lips or the gentle curls of his hair that fell in soft locks so sweetly around his ears, and miserably failed to resist the temptation. If Snufkin were a siren, Moomin would gladly drown at sea just to catch a glimpse of him.

"Scared? What's there to be afraid of?"

"I was scared you would say no and that you would find out why I really wanted to dance with you and then you would hate me and wouldn't want to be friends any more."

"That would never happen, Moomin. You're my best friend. I would never stop being friends with you, no matter what it is."

"You don't know that though, Snufkin! You don't even know what it is!"

"And you think if you tell me, it'll end our friendship?"

"Yes." Moomin told the floor in between them.

"Then don't tell me."

"Huh? But... Oh, I don't know. I'm rather afraid to tell you, but I was kind of expecting you to wheedle it out of me."

"Well, I can't say I'm not curious, but my friendship with you is not a price I'm willing to pay for anything. Especially not a secret you don't wish to part with yet, or ever if you please."

"Oh, Snufkin!"

Moomin dropped his paws from their respectful dance-partner approved positions and hugged Snufkin close to his chest. Snufkin brought his own paws up to rest on Moomin's shoulders and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I have something I'm a little scared to tell you too."

Moomin wriggled his ears in a silent invitation.

"I don't actually know how to dance. I've been letting other people lead and guessing the steps all night, but I have no idea if I'm doing it correctly."

Moomin snorted and laughed. "I can teach you, if you'd like."

"It's a little romantic, teaching someone how to dance, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah." Moomin whispered. "O-only a little bit."

"I- um- I rather like romantic. Do you like romance, Moomin?"

"Oh, yes. I love romance. And I-I'd love to teach you how to dance, Snufkin."

Snufkin smiled, happy and satisfied. Moomin smiled back, delighted and hopeful. The two spun in a slow dance beneath the stars, lit by the campfire light, alone with each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Its my B I R T H D A Y!!!
> 
> Happy Birthday to me, I'm gifting myself this sappy fuckin fic. I would LOVE it if you left reviews on it thanks very much!! :D


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